Da Great White Hype: Late Night With Hypes

Late Night With Hypes
Sunday, March 16

Welcome back folks. Before we bring out our first guest, who happens to be the star of the new hit comedy Me and My Funny Anglicized Mexican-American Family, let's go to tonight's Top Ten List entitled:

The Top Ten Reasons Your Team Might Not Be Selected for the NCAA Tournament:

Nummmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmber 10: On senior night, the only black kids on your team came in with :13 left in the game.

Nummmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmber 9: During the off season when the coach preached to the team to be "proactive with the basketball", they all quit because they couldn't dribble a ball covered in acne medication.

Nummmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmber 8: Your signature wins this year came against Duke and Memphis. But that was during football season.

Nummmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmber 7: Your jerseys match your highlighters.

: Heh, heh. Digger Phelps. Heh.

Nummmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmber 6: Instead of game film, your players watch "Gauntlet III" highlights, citing CT's performances as inspirational.

Nummmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmber 5: At halftime of your last game, this graphic comes up:

Nummmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmber 4: You have 3 McDonald's All-Americans on your bench. They are on the bench cause they eat McDonald's 3 times a day and they are slow and fat.

Nummmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmber 3: Your coach, who is currently under NCAA probation for improper recruiting violations, responds to the media's questions with "sry ill brb, ttyl" and "psycho T P-O-Y....roflmao!!!"

Nummmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmber 2: During breaks from play this week, ESPN2 shows a player's mom in the crowd proudly wearing "My son made it to the Big Sky tournament and all I got was this lousy shirt!"

And the number 1 Reason Why Your Team Might Not Be Selected for the NCAA Tournament is: The Harlem Globetrotters expect you to be on time for the exhibition game next week.