Haiku of Each Quarter
Sunday, December 30
1st Quarter
Sixteen victories.
The pursuit of perfection
Ruined by Gumbel?
Efficient Eli
Jacobs pounding through the D
No homo.
2nd Quarter
Randy Moss? Kevin
Boss is our countermeasure.
Unstoppable, Eli is.
"Intent to injure?
More like intent to annoy!"
Gumbel with a gem.
3rd Quarter
Hey relaxico!
Plaxico, reservations
for six, south end zone.
Sir Wesley Welker
Real world/road rules member?
One speedy cracka.
4th Quarter
If Moss is L.C.
Then Tom Brady is Brody
Spence looks like Beavis.
Though it meant nothing
New York sure played like it did.
It counts at Tampa. 
Posted byDa Great White Hype at 2:54 AM 0 comments
Facebook Friends
Friday, December 28
Chris Jesse, the Ball Boy Man from Texas finallyyyy accepted my Facebook friend request.
***Click pic to enlarge***
Posted byDa Great White Hype at 12:02 AM 0 comments
1st Annual Trey Junkin Awards
Wednesday, December 26
Welcome everybody to the 1st Annual Trey Junkin Awards! Each year, we present the Junky to people in the sports world deserving of said award.
>>>Click here for the 2007 Junkies
Posted byDa Great White Hype at 11:51 PM 0 comments
Aww S#!T
Best Buy, Dec. 26th.
Eli: Why did dad get Rockband for us both?
Peyton (turns to burly man behind him in the lines for returns and exchanges): Pissed that your live-in girlfriend got you Blonde Ambition on Blu-Ray Disc? Infuriated that you don't even own a Blu-Ray Disc player? Here's what you do. Take whatever store credit you get from that Jessica Simpson straight-to-DVD, motion to one of those dudes from the Geek Squad to meet you near the appliances section, and bribe his pimply ass to knock off that skag currently furnishing your solarium with Pier 1 treasures for the $39.99 Best Buy Bucks and the pink slip to her '06 Prius.
Eli: Peyton, why the hell is Coughlin calling me?
T.C.: Eli, Eli. Listen. I just got a ESPN TXT Alert. Code Red. They are actually showing the damn game on all the networks. NFL Network. CBS. NBC. Telemundo. Bravo. C-SPAN. That network for the fags. VH1 Classic. WHAT THE EFFF!
Eli: Coach, hold on a sec. I thought you said I wasn't even going to play more than a few snaps. So what's the deal? Now that we could be embarrassed like the fat white kids trying to be prom king in all black high school on MADE in front of the whole U.S., are you gonna ask me to actually prep for N.E.?
T.C. C'mon... you're my man! We can do this! Don't fret. Which northern American city's social and racial tensions erupted in the lynchind of Willy Brown in 1919 after rapid increase in immigrants and the doubling of African American population between 1910 and 1920???
Eli: Omaha! Omaha!
T.C.: That's my boy. Okay listen, the free Boost Mobile minutes I have for today are running low. I really wish I didn't get Sinorice Moss as my secret santa. Get preppin!
Peyton (Turns to two pre-teen boys to his left): Thinking about getting a Wii? Unless you are the quarterback of your high school team with, you know, a laser arm, you have to work to get poon... and I'm not talkin about amassing 290 on Wii Bowl. Here's my 1996 Tennessee Volunteers game-worn Jersey. Rub it on your crotch before you go to school. Trust me, it's magic. It worked for Tee Martin somehow. 
Posted byDa Great White Hype at 7:36 PM 0 comments
Picture of the Day
Wednesday, December 19
(from and created by Kissing Suzy Kolber)
Posted byDa Great White Hype at 11:35 PM 0 comments
Now that shes with child...
My friend Jim and I deem that Jamie Lynn Spears can officially be called hot. Before, as I explained a few months back with the Cooper Rule (last paragraph down), no girl under the age of 17 can be deemed to be smokin'. But now that she's in preparation for excreting a bloody mass out of her birth canal, she can and will be deemed a ten! A fuckin' ten! Right, Billy Bob?
Evidently, mom Lynne Spears had a book deal in works that was to be published in the spring about good Christian parenting. Had, of course, being the key word. First, Mrs. Spears shot up a brick with Britney. Then she actually found out that letting your 16 year old daughter live with her 19 year old boyfriend isn't mentioned in any translation of the Bible... even in the King James Version! She might have lost that qualification for a model of Christian parenting once Britney was spread out in lingerie in Rolling Stone 6 years ago...
Here were some other bad book ideas that had to be scrapped this year:
Good Luck Charm by Jessica Simpson
2 Fast 2 Furious by Nick Hogan
Fitness Made Simple by the 2000 Yankees and John Basedow
Second Place is the First Loser by the Ohio State Buckeyes Athletic Department
The 2007 Tour de France by every rider but the 15 that remained at the end of the race after before they were kicked out for doping.
Quite Frankly, I Love My Fans by Steven A. Smith
Hey! We still won 8,837 games! by the Phillies
Overexposure: How to Counteract It by T-Pain featuring Nelly Furtado, Tom Brady, Kim Kardashian, and Spencer
The World Is Flat, and Other Things I Know by Sherri Sheppard
By the way, check out Jamie-Lynn's site. I guess the locket on the front wasn't her chastity belt like the one in Robin Hood: Men in Tights. I read her diary on the site. Here was an interesting post...
September 26th, 2007:
Hey Y'all!
I just got back from this US Weekly "Hot Hollywood" event. Oh and my boyfriend came inside of me. Other than that, I've been really busy with school. TTYL!
Posted byDa Great White Hype at 10:50 PM 1 comments
New and Exciting Stuff (For Me)
Tuesday, December 18
First, I'd like to thank my first sponsor, Yardbarker. Hopefully I won't put their name to shame by having them associated with my site. I read Yardbarker a lot, as Greg Oden, 'Melo, Mike Conley, Jr., and other athletes blog on their site so click on their ads and check their site out.
Secondly, the site has changed around a little. Gone is the bland template. Here to stay is a less bland template.
Thirdly, wowww. It's another "I'm not surprised... but it's wrong that I'm not surprised."
Fourthly, I'd like to shout out all the players in the K.C. Memorial Tournament this weekend in the city. The parents ran it great and everyone had a ton of fun except for the fat janitor who had to clean up the puke in the away benches.
Fifthly, more names have been released in the Mitchell Report, including "All the Way" Mae, Willie Mays Hayes, and every Molina.
Sixthly, who holds it better, Alba or Nicole?
Seventhly, PAWG OF THE WEEK #4 !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Click here to see who it is.
Posted byDa Great White Hype at 10:49 PM 1 comments
Links of the Day
Monday, December 17
-Rolling Stone offered their compilation of the best 100 songs of 2007.
.....Here's Da Great White Hype's list of the top 10 songs of 2007.
-As I started yelling as he broke the big run, my heart dropped as Westbrook fell to his knees like a 15 year old Thai hooker to an American Businessman in Bangkok. I was relying on him to bring me out of the semi's into the finals of the family fantasy championship, but it turns out I actually needed about another 3 fake TDs from B-Dubz.
-The All-Mitchell Report Team. Quite possibly, the slowest team of all time? Oh wait, that might be the WCHS Cross Country team of 2003.
-Looks like the U.S. Men's National Team has been practicing, all the while recruiting more Asian-Americans.
-Don't bother voting for Fred Taylor for the Pro Bowl. He will do it for you.
-Keon Clark said he never played a game sober. This info might have been useful to many fantasy owners in the late 90s.
-Pictures from the UCLA Undie Run
Posted byDa Great White Hype at 6:00 PM 0 comments
Weekend Wrap Up
And that about wraps up the weekend.
Posted byDa Great White Hype at 5:58 PM 1 comments
Letters
Friday, December 14
Former Falcons head coach Bobby Petrino, who resigned Tuesday, wrote a four-sentence letter that he signed was given to the players at the team's headquarters Wednesday. Safety Lawyer Milloy later took license and edited out Petrino's name for how he thought it should be signed (ajc.com)
Here are some other examples of edited letters...
Posted byDa Great White Hype at 12:05 AM 1 comments
In the year 2010
Monday, December 10
Mike Vick will walk out of a minimum-security prison after serving what will most likely be 85% of his 23-month sentence. Now I'm not a math major, but 85% of 23 months is 100% more time than I would want to spend in any prison, country club-Fed or not. But let's take a look at how different the world can be
... in the year 2010.
-Stephon Marbury will have finally left the NBA, but he will continue to sell his Starbury shoes for $15. This time, he will personally give you the receipt before placing them in the bag at Foot Locker.
-David Stern will once again change the NBA dress code, once again angering his players around the league. "I happen to think ballistic proof is ballin'" says Knicks' reserve forward David Lee.
-Mark Mangino leaves Kansas for a better job. 
...Maitre 'D at the Barbary Coast, home of the $2.99 all-you-can-eat!
-Monday Night Football finally finds a team of announcers that finally puts to rest the Tirico, Tony K, and Jaws fiasco.
-HBO debuts a reality series entitled "Klitschko/Efron 24/7", promoting the fight between the Russian World Heavyweight champ Wladamir Klitschko and star of High School Musical 1,2,and 3. After watching the show a few times, Da Great White Hype will throw down a C-note on the blue-eyed teen idol, obviously demonstrating he hasn't learned his lesson from 2 years ago.
-The marlins of Florida will continue to thrive. The Florida Marlins will be moved to Charlotte. 
Contrary to popular belief, there is no Salary Cap under the sea.
-Facebook will no longer allow for "pokes." Instead, there will be a button called "man up" which, when clicked, will provide the cell number of the girl/boy you are stalking. Facebook will also ban pictures of your wedding/birth of your first child, leaving college dropouts around the nations to return to MySpace.
-Mike Vick will walk out of prison and into the unemployment lines. Fortunately for the embattled QB, there is an opening in Providence, RI working alongside his brother, Marcus...
Posted byDa Great White Hype at 5:28 PM 1 comments
Reason # 3 to Watch the LPGA
Thursday, December 6
...Anna Rawson, the newest card-carrier of the titless Titlest strikers LPGA. She's 26 and according to her Myspace page, she actually liked Hitch and she's feelin the new Britney song.
By the way, reasons #1 and #2 you might ask? Obviously their overall control of long irons from tight lies and female backsweat generated on Polo shirts at the Ladies' U.S. open. Yeahhh boyeee.
_________________________
My Preseason Picks for Heismann:
1. Darren McFadden
2. Mike Hart
3. Mario Manningham
4. Brian Brohm
5. Steve Slaton
Surprisingly, all 5 will be in NYC on Saturday night as the Heisman is presented. McFadden will be in the actual building, while the rest will be working the valet. 
Slaton, shown here, going on a joy ride in Ferris Bueller's dad's classic Corvette.
______________________
Prelude to the 7th Floor Crew....?
Check out Kenny Lofton, Tom Tolbert, Steve Kerr, and Sean Elliot go Wild About the 'Cats!
G-Reg aka Greg Olson from the Chicago Bears rips it in this classic from the U
(What’s your name?)
G-Reg
(What’d you do?)
Get head
(How you do it?)
Drop my drawers and let her see my third leg
___________________
Fashion Faux-Pas once again from Florida.
First the "jorts." Now, crocs? (0:30)
__________________
Roger Staubach aint a player. He just crush a lot.
___________________
This chick was on American Idol and manages to beat out Miss Teen South Carolina for the "Dumb Southerner" award. Fitting that this show is hosted by Jeff Foxworthy.
______________________
LOL Cat of the Day:
_______________________
Link of the Day:
http://www.jamphat.com/rap/
_______________________
And last but not least, RIP to Pimp C of UGK and of course to my friend K.C. who played on the team I coached last year. His favorite player was Joe Sakic of the Avs so here's a Sakic reel.
And some Pimp C
Posted byDa Great White Hype at 3:41 PM 1 comments
B.C.S.
Saturday, December 1
Back in 1997, Bret Hart was on top of the wrestling world. A few days before my birthday of that year, I was over my friend Jason's house as he ordered WWF's Survivor Series. Hart and Shawn Michaels met in the ring, and the match ended with Shawn Michaels victorious over Bret Hart after forcing him into submission via the "Sharpshooter"-- Bret Hart's signature move.
Well, except for the fact that Bret Hart did not submit.
This event will forever be referred to as the "Montréal Screw Job" where WWF Commissioner Vince McMahon, who had a much contentious relationship with Hart, secretly screwed him over in real life by switching the pre-determination of the match, as Hart was told he would be the winner of the match before it started. But as it was revealed, McMahon, who promised to Hart he would win the match (which was to be his last in the WWF as he was leaving for the rival WCW), removed the World Champion title from Hart as he had the referee count out Hart while Michaels would hold him in a sharpshooter.
Bret Hart with the WWF World Heavyweight Championship Belt and the BCS National Championship Trophy
We almost had a Mountaineer Screw Job tonight....
The holding calls during the WVU/Pitt game were terrible. It's like the McMahon of the BCS needed to find anyway to have the Mountaineers make the BCS game and had the refs make phantom calls. The first huge holding penalty came in the 3rd where a Pitt rushing td (and a sick one by the way) was called back due to a weak call. Pitt ended up settling for a FG attempt, which they would miss. The second one was the play above which was even worse. Immediately after, Bostick missed his WR who was held by a defender in front of the referee, which is at the end of this video. Fortunately, Pitt held out and won, and Missouri lost to Oklahoma for the Big XII championship and a spot in the BCS National Title game. So how should this play out?
1 Missouri -Lost to #9 Oklahoma 38-17 in the Big XII Championship. Not only did they lose their spot in the BCS Game, but they also might have lost a spot in any of the 4 BCS games.
2 West Virginia -Lost to unranked Pitt at Morgantown. They will still be in a BCS game as they won the Big East Conference, but their shot at a national title is gone.
3 Ohio State -Idle
4 Georgia -Idle
5 Kansas -Idle
6 Virginia Tech -Won the ACC after defeating #11 BC in Jacksonville
7 LSU -Won the SEC after defeating #14 Tennessee
8 USC -Won the PAC-10 after defeating UCLA
9 Oklahoma -Won the Big XII after defeating #1 Mizzou
10 Florida -Idle
11 Boston College -Lost to #6 Virginia Tech for the ACC Championship
12 Hawaii -Won after coming from 21-0 down in the first against unranked Washington. They have secured a top 12 spot, basically guarenteeing them entrance into a BCS game after their perfect 12-0 season
13 Arizona State- Won barely over unranked Arizona. Lost to USC the previous week for the PAC 10 outright title
14 Tennessee- Lost to #7 LSU for the SEC Championship
15 Illinois- Idle
If the BCS standings settled just by today's wins and losses, it would turn out to look like this (assuming Mizzou and WVU fall somewhere between Oklahoma and 3-loss Florida, with undefeated Hawaii in the top 10 also):
1 Ohio State
2 Georgia
3 Kansas
4 Virginia Tech
5 LSU
6 USC
7 Oklahoma
8 Hawaii
9 Mizzou
10 West Va.
11 Florida
12 Arizona State
13 Illinois
But it's not going to turn out that way at all. In deciding which teams should play in these BCS Games-
* BCS National Championship - #1 vs. #2
* Rose Bowl - Big 10 winner vs. Pac-10 winner
* Fiesta Bowl - Big 12 winner vs At Large
* Orange Bowl - ACC winner vs At Large
* Sugar Bowl - SEC winner vs At Large
(Big East receives an At-Large Bid to any of these games, as well does Notre Dame if they finish top 8 in the standings, which I'm pretty sure they didn't. I don't know really... I haven't checked the sports section lately.)
...we need to look at a few things.
-First things first, eliminate Florida from the list all together. The BCS cannot have 3 teams from one conference (here, being the SEC) playing in the 4 games.
-Next, eliminate Georgia (10-2) from the BCS Title game. The BCS would hate to add more fuel to the burning fire that is a possible playoff system by selecting a team that did not even win their own conference.
-With Kansas (11-1), it was unfortunate that they did not play Oklahoma this year. They will be punished for the fact that they lost to Mizzou, who ended up losing big to Oklahoma. Knock the Jayhawks out of any BCS game. With Hawaii in, the Jayhawks are the red-headed stepchild.
-Virginia Tech (11-2), along with UGA and USC, is one of the hottest teams in the nation. They won their conference on Saturday, but even though it may feel like a lifetime ago, they did get smoked in Baton Rouge by LSU, the current #7 team. Along with the argument that the ACC is weaker than the SEC, you can't put VT over LSU for the title game. Eliminate VT from the second spot in the poll.
-USC (10-2) looked dominant over UCLA today. Their early loss to unranked Stanford in the fifth game of the season looked to doom their title hopes. They also lost a few weeks later to then #5 Oregon (while playing without Booty at QB no homo). They seemed to regain their form in the last two games, especially in the rout of Arizona State at Sun Devil Stadium last week. But I still can't see them jumping LSU.
This is how the BCS should shape up:
vs. 
for the BCS National Championship
-OSU and LSU will end up at #1 and #2, respectfully. OSU sat around while everyone else went down after trouncing Michigan for the Big Ten Championship. LSU has two losses, both of which came in overtime to fellow SEC conference-mates. LSU also posts quality wins over Va. Tech, Tenn., Auburn, and Florida. Compare that to Oklahoma whose quality wins only include Mizzou (2) and Texas. USC's quality wins include Oregon, ASU, and Cal.. while UGA's quality wins include victories over Kentucky, Auburn, and Florida. Seems unfair, but OSU/LSU is the only logical match up.
vs. 
for the Rose Bowl
-USC will be the automatic representative for the Pac 10, and the Rose Bowl will want to keep it Pac 10 vs. Big Ten, and will take the Fighting Illini, a 3-loss team. Florida would have been an intriguing match up with the Trojans, but the 3 team rule won't let this happen.
vs. 
for the Orange Bowl
-This could be a really great game, showcasing some of the best speed in the nation. VT is the rep from the ACC, while WVU gains an a bid as the Big East winner.
vs. 
> for the Fiesta Bowl
-Fiesta redemption after last year's upset by Boise State? OU will be the Big XII rep, and the Fiesta Bowl would love to have a home team playing in the bowl. Unfortunately for Kansas, this is the only spot where they could fit in, but there is that dreaded 3-team rule (not to mention the fact that most likely the Fiesta Bowl wouldn't want to showcase another Big XII match up after Oklahoma just won the conference on Saturday).
vs. 
for the Sugar Bowl
-UGA and the the Cinderella's of this year's college football season will meet in the Sugar Bowl. Georgia didn't win the SEC, but with LSU tabbed for the National Championship, the Dawgs should fit in nicely here. Hawaii's win knocked out Mizzou from any BCS bowl while Colt Brennan turned in a great performance against Washington early Sunday morning with 5 TDs and at one point completing 20 straight passes.
* * * * *
Okay, go ahead and make an argument for Kansas and Georgia to be in the bowl game. After all, Nebraska made the National Championship in 2001 (losing to Miami in that game) and Oklahoma made the National Championship in 2003 (losing to LSU in that game) after failing to win their own Conferences. But that was before the radical changes to the BCS formula, including the elimination of the Coach's poll.
If LSU is not selected to go to the National Championship, I'd pick Oklahoma to face OSU in that game. But bottom line, almost everyone is going to be pissed off.
Really, I wouldn't be happy unless Appalachian State has a rematch with a Les Miles-coached Michigan for the Survivor Series BCS Championship.
The BCS:
The Best There Is?
The Best There Was?
The Best There Ever Will Be? I hope not!!!
(-4:35 check it)
Posted byDa Great White Hype at 11:48 PM 1 comments
