Home Alone
Wednesday, September 26
* Dad left for a business trip for the next 2 nights. So because my unexpected entrance into this world led my parents to an eventual legal annulment, this means I am home alone. My only chores for the next 72+ hours are to take the recycling down the driveway and water the sod (not that you care, but just so when I read this later tonight I'll remember)
Prior to graduating from college, being home alone meant walking around without clothes on for long periods of time after showers and shaking it around like a helicopter, eating Cheeze Doodles while playing Xbox, eating popcorn for dinner, and going to sleep with all the lights on in the house while cuddling the pillowgirl I construct in the middle of my bed.
M4ssiv3 amounts of n00bs getting pwned courtesy of da GWH
But as my money supply dwindles due to my surging golf addiction combined with my life being completely devoid at the moment of female companionship, I spent the better part of today applying to schools. Again. For the third time in 5 years. 
Long & Soft on the golf course.... just like in da GWH's pantalones
This is the aftereffect of being up at my old school almost every weekend since this year started. While most if not all of my friends are either working or still in school, I've managed to jump onto the leaderboard in Assault Kills on Battlefield2 for xbox while also shooting a mind-boggling 83 on the course yesterday. Impressive stats, I know this. But unfortunatly, résumés should be kept to a page length and these breath-taking tidbits are better left off.
Hopefully, I'll be in graduate school by mid-January and I won't have to spend my time blogging about how the Soulja Boy dance has crossed over to the college football sidelines. But for now, I'm getting pumped for Da Great White Hype College National Collegiate Athletic Association American Football Tour 2007-2008 2nd stop next Saturday in Baton Rouge, LA for the LSU/Florida matchup which will ultimatly decide who will play in the National Championship in January. So wish me luck as I make the transition from off my ass at home to on my ass in a college library by January.
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Ricky Hatton/ Floyd Mayweather f***** awesome pre-fight press confrence.
Posted byDa Great White Hype at 6:38 PM 0 comments
Weekend Wrap-Up with Francesco
Monday, September 24
GWH is taking the night off. So I'm letting my fabulous neighbor Francesco take over the site for the evening. 
Hola! Bienvenue! Wow... what a weekend I had. If you forget about the Lorenzo Llamas photo shoot I stumbled upon in 1997 while in Cabo, these past three days have been among the best.
On Friday, Hector, my favorite Barista at Starbucks, finally e-mailed me those risque pics of High School Musical star Vanessa Hudgens. Of course, I just want to know if that Louis Vuiton on the right is a knock off!
Later that day, I had to clean out my TiVo. Not that I had too many programs saved on it.... but because Ramon and I got into a KY-jelly squirting fight! Dirtyyyyy.
On Saturday, I couldn't stand to watch the E! True Hollywood Story on the cast of Cheers for the 4th time, so I decided to watch some men in tights. No, not a VHS of Fiddler on the Roof. But the Texas A&M football game (I thought A&M stood for, well....nevermind.) And check out RB Jorvorskie Lane. This guy is so big that he covers the blankets in his bed at night.
Jovorski performing at the VMAs.
Sunday in my Fantasy League, I happened to start Donovan McNabb and his 4 touchdowns on my team, the Cabanna Boyz. I wonder if both of his heads are smooth!!! I KID!
And the Giants finally won a damn game! For the last two weeks I've been pleading with GWH to borrow my cucumber eye mask because their lack of defense has been keeping him awake at night.
Here's some vids...
Britney? In OT?
In my younger years I could pull this off onto a Serta PerfectSleeper
Although I never have....don't lie, you've all done this.
Posted byDa Great White Hype at 11:16 PM 0 comments
Throwbacks... so fresh & so clean?
Sunday, September 23
*****Note's on the early Sunday games*****
* If Troy Aikman's face was a jersey, it would be the uber-ugly tops the Eagles were sporting this afternoon. By the way, Donovan McNabb proved that blacks belong in modern sport with his perfect passer rating and his 4 touchdowns. But the less-pigmented WR Kevin Curtis (11, 223 yds, 3 TDs) had to overshadow his darker offensive partner.
Eagles' Reggie Brown and Corell "Arthroscopic" Buckhalter play mid air swords and do not call "no homo" before doing so.
* We might have some quarterback controversies brewing this week. QB Kurt Warner came in for Father of the Year early candidate Matt Leinart in the Pheonix Arizona Cardinals. Leinart was 9 for 20 before Mrs. Brenda Warner racked up almost 300 yards and 2 touchdowns before falling short to the Raves.
Minnesota QB Tavaris Jackson's injury may turn out to be a longer time out than originally expected as Kelly Holcomb didn't create any turnovers. Although he failed to throw a touchdown pass while losing to KC, his experience in the league may keep him in the driver's seat (aka handing the ball off to Adrian Peterson.)
Former Stanford QB Trent Edwards made his debut earlier than any of the quarterbacks drafted in this spring's draft. He subbed for an injured J.P. Losman for the Bills and only completed 10 of 20 passes for 97 yards and 1 pick. Losman's sprained ankle has been classified as "pretty serious" by head coach Dick Jauron. Also, the Bills lost LB Paul Pozluzny (broken left forearm)
* Along with the Philadelphia Sixers' draft pick Thaddeus Young, Redskins' QB Jason Campbell and LB Rocky McIntosh have been added to the Without Knowing, I Would Think They Were White Because of Their Position and Name All-Star Team.
Skins' LB Rocky McIntosh. Trust me, he's black.
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UT does the Soulja Boy before their game against UCF
If I could have a superpower, this would be it.
Nasty Wiffle Pitcher - Watch more free videos
Ball Boy With Balls
Hideki Matsui loves his porn. (13th paragraph down)
Kim Kardashian to do Playboy. Holla.
Best Autograph Ever courtesy of the Yankees' Shelley Duncan.
The one Eagles fan I might like.
Posted byDa Great White Hype at 6:09 PM 0 comments
I like big boobs.
Saturday, September 22
who doesn't?
okay now to the recap of last week. I joined da Great White Cousin on a road trip to Blacksburg, VA, home of Virginia Polytechical Institute and State University. Here were some highlights...
Posted byDa Great White Hype at 1:25 AM 0 comments
NFL Haiku
Tuesday, September 11
New Orleans Saints
Reggie needs the ball
Powerhouse offense stiffled
Brees blows like the wind
St. Louis Rams
Wilkens M-V-P?
Jackson as a fantasy stud?
Waisted first round pick!
Atlanta Falcons
You missing Matt Schaub?
Incomplete pass by Joey
That's Bad Newz Kennelz!
Pittsburgh Steelers
!Big Ben en fuego!
4 touchdowns, new career high
no more Yamahas
New York Giants
Where was the defense?
Eligable reciever
is Jason Whitten
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-Well, after the wacky Week 1, I went 7-6 with 2 pushes against the spread in my picks from last week.
-Charlie Frye is off to Seattle in a trade. Fantasy Owners everywhere collectively yawn.
-HEY ESPN... YOU SUCK!!!!! The worldwide leader in shit once again blows at being a credible source. Separated shoulder my ass you fuckheads!
-Ladies....this weekend I'm heading down to Virginia Tech for the kickoff to the GWH mini-college football tour.
Posted byDa Great White Hype at 3:31 PM 0 comments
Season Abortion Performed in Giants Locker Room
Monday, September 10
I'm sure Eagles fans feel the same way. If one existed, Tom Coughlin would be pressing the RESET button right now to make it easier to wake up. There's a lot to say about tonight's loss to the Cowboys, and there is a lot that needs to be fixed, notwithstanding all the injuries.
*****The Bad Awful*****
-Kiwi looked really really bad in his first game at OLB since being moved from DE. He was out of position on both running and passing plays, struggling to cover TE Jason Whitten, and any passing play over the middle of the field. Injuries may force the Giants to abandon this ill-fated attempt.
-Overall, the Defense was unable to get any stops. Whether it was on 3rd and Long, or any pass play down the middle of the field, the corners and linebackers failed to stop Romo from executing their game plan. I blame this on ex-GM Ernie Accorsi and current GM Jerry Reese for not upgrading the DBs in the off season. Drafting Aaron Ross was a step in the right direction. But these jerkoffs could have at least pursued Asante Samuel or Nate Clemmons in the summer.
-The Giants keep losing the battle against injuries. Last year, having Toomer, Osi, and Strahan go down was devastating to this team. This year, the team has a big hole to climb out of with Eli, Jacobs, Dockery, and Osi all forced to leave the game.
-Can we call Sinorice Moss a bust yet? I didn't even see him on the sidelines...
-The botched hold on the PAT. How many weeks in the fucking preseason and these goochs can't get this shit right?
*****The Good*****
-RB Derrick Ward stepped up when Jacobs went down. His power running was complimented with enough elusiveness to break out big runs and score on a pass from Eli to cut the lead to one in the 3rd. Look for someone in your fantasy league to pick him up tomorrow, depending on the severity of Jacobs' injury.
-Amani Toomer proved that he is one of the best possession receivers in the league, even after serious knee surgery. He is a great compliment to Plaxico, catching 9 balls (no homo) for 91 yards. He was able to plant himself in the holes in the zone and if he was able to get both feet in bounds in the back of the end zone in the 1st, the Giants would have had a 13-0 lead.
*****The Great*****
-Plaxico. It's no secret this guy has all the physical tools to be a pro bowl WR. 8 catches, 144 yards, 3TDs.
(no homo)
-Elisha. Tonight, his performance could be described as gutty and poised. He had one of his best nights as a pro, as his transformation in his pocket presence in the past 2 years has gone under the radar in the media. Tonight, he was 28/41, 312 yds, 4TDs and 1 INT. But he had much better accuracy than any game he had last season, and seemed to have a clear plan of what to do every time he stepped behind center. I have a feeling it was not his decision to stay on the sidelines which Giants fans should be comfortable with.
-The Offense in General. Very un-Giant-like for the Defense to be holding us back. But the offense stepped it up and battled relentlessly to stay in the game. But with each Cowboy possession, you knew that even when the Giants pulled close, there was no way they could make a stop when they needed one. But the offense continued to make play after play, taking advantage of the lone Cowboy turnover and making it a 3 point game mid 4th quarter. It's a shame that Eli and Plaxico's performance was spoiled by the gaping vagina that is the Giants defense.
Posted byDa Great White Hype at 1:50 AM 0 comments
The Morning After....
Sunday, September 9
-Top movers (or losers) last night in college football...
3. Michigan was served with a restraining order from the Top 25 this morning after being blown out at the big house by Oregon. With Henne hurt, Mike Hart fuming at his line, and Lloyd Carr doing Remember the Titans speeches at the end of games, this team is destined to win the Big Ten conference. Could you imagine after going 0-2 with both losses at home, including one to a 1-AA team, and the Wolverine's season all comes down to one game against OSU? It could happen...
Injured Michigan QB Chad Henne
2. Oregon went from the outside looking in, as they put up big numbers on Michigan, while implementing the statue of liberty play twice (one was a perfectly executed fake). QB Dennis Dixon threw for 3 touchdowns and lit up the defense for almost 300 yards. He controlled the whole game with his arm as well as his feet, rushing for 76 yards while adding another touchdown. 
1. LSU made a case for a few more #1 votes last night, serving up Tech's first loss of the season in Death Valley. LSU is loaded with weapons on each side of the ball, and they showcased the best team speed on offense and defense I've seen this year. With QB Sean Glennon of VT struggling, LSU was relentless on the blitz, busting through VT's offensive line which failed to give Glennon time to even make a play. With play makers such as RB Keiland Williams (127 yards, two touchdowns on just seven carries (showcasing an average of 18.1 yards per carry), RB Jacob Hester, WR Early Doucet, LB Ali Highsmith, DE Glenn Dorsey, and S Craig Steltz (4 INTs in 2 games)... LSU proves to be the best team to match up with USC for the Nat'l Championship. 
LB Ali Highsmith sacks VT QB Sean Glennon, who eventually was replaced by redshirt freshman QB T-Rod.
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Game of the Day
Texas A&M dropped the visiting Fresno State Bulldogs at home, winning by two in the 3rd overtime. Aggie full-figured RB Javorskie Lane (pictured below), a 263 lb., ran for 121 yards, including the eventual GW 2 point conversion. The game featured a lot of cramping (game time temp. was over 90 degrees, and around 100 heat index in the 4th quarter) and a lot of controversy. 
After Matt Szymanski kicked a 27-yard field goal to give A&M a 32-29 lead, FSU QB Tom Brandstater hit Marlon Moore who tried to stretch the ball over the goal line using one hand. He then fumbled into the end zone as he stepped out of bounds, and the Aggies recovered. The official on the spot ruled that Moore went out at the 1.
Officials reviewed replays and ruled that Moore had fumbled, but A&M nose tackle Henry Smith was flagged for roughing the passer. Fresno State (1-1) was given a first down inside the A&M 13. Clint Stitser kicked a field goal to force another overtime.
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K-State attempts to use 80's riffs and cheezy shouting schemes to fire up the kiddies for this season. Anyone notice subliminal a subliminal racist chant (K! K! K!). So...Don't Forget Your Power Towel (thanks Pball)
And the best name ever goes to....
Posted byDa Great White Hype at 11:29 AM 0 comments
Darko speaks the truth
Saturday, September 8
-My annual family fantasy football draft via teleconfrence took place this week. The maturity gap beween the guys in my family was illustrated by a baby crying in the backround while one cousin made a pick, followed by the "fuck you, I make more money than you anyways" card played by another cousin (non-blood related).
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-While I'm writing this, Oregon has just put up a big number at halftime at the big house on Michigan. With two potential Heisman canidates in Mike Hart and Chad Henne, along with a blue chip WR in Mario Manningham, I would not be suprised if Lloyd Carr's resignation effective at the end of the season isn't handed in by next week if UM can't come back at home.
Edit: more bad news for the Wolverines, as Chad Henne didn't come out of the locker room to start the half.
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-ABC flashed the "rules" that rookie coach Randy Shannon of the U has imposed on his team for this year.
Among them:
-no names on the back of the jerseys
-no cell phones in team meetings
-no hats in meetings
-and the best one....no guns. Good thing Randy wasn't my coach on the golf team in high school, cause my bag would have felt a lot lighter without my 9 buried in the bottom pocket.
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-NFL on Sunday makes its season debut tomorrow and there are some big games to start the season. Here are my predictions (winners in bold)
Kansas City
at Houston (-3)
Denver (-3)
at Buffalo
Pittsburgh (-5)
at Cleveland
Tennessee
at Jacksonville (-7)
Carolina
at St. Louis (-1)
Phila. (-3)
at Green Bay
Atlanta
at Minnesota (-3)
Miami
at Washington (-3)
New England (-6½)
at New York Jets
Tampa Bay
at Seattle (-6)
Chicago
at San Diego (-6)
Detroit
at Oakland (-2)
New York Giants
at Dallas (-6)
Sep. 10 Baltimore
at Cincinnati (-3)
Arizona
at San Fran. (-3)
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After his Serbian team lost to Greece in Euro2007, the only clean subtitle in this video of Darko freaking out is "gulp, gulp"
Preview of the soon-to-come video of a crackhead stealing the tip jar at the Five Guys that tha GWH's cousin Fuzzy manages (click on image to enlarge).
Posted byDa Great White Hype at 5:22 PM 0 comments
(AP) Drop Outs
Tuesday, September 4
-Anyone not calling the UMich loss to AppState the biggest upset in college football history must have a face like a wet rasin and slur every consenant. Lou Holtz is obviously senile and out of touch, but he said after the game that the Michigan loss wasn't a great suprise, due to the fact that AppState has great speed and won the last 2 1-AA Nat'l championships. Lou Holtz needs to be replaced with that water-skiing squirrel on College GameDay.
-UMich should drop out of the polls. They should not even be among those "also recieving votes."
-This game expemplified why there should be no preseason polls. Nor should there be any polls until the 4th game of the college football season. Take last night for another example. The Seminoles, or "19 Flast" as referred to by Tha Great White Babe last night while asking what that meant on the top of the screen, should have not even sniffed the top 25. Weatherford is an overrated quarterback with an offense that can barely move the ball (as illustrated by not getting a first down after their first drive until midway into the 3rd quarter.
The 19th rated team in the country was riding their name, their coach's name, and their all-freshman team QB all the way to the top 20. But this all masked their previous years' 7-6 record (3-5 in the ACC. So really it takes at least 4 games to see just how good or bad these teams really are. Michigan was not a #5 or #6 team obviously. Because they have (or had) two potential Heismann Trophy canidates, and last year's team was undefeated until the OSU game, they rode this all to a over-saturated ranking, despite losing valuable members on their stifiling defense.
oh, and by the way, this is who beat UMich.
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-Here are tha great white hype's top 3 Movers of Week 1 of the
college football week
3. UCLA. In their 45-17 win playing against the
2. Cal. After the gang-rape from the rocky toppers last year, Cal probably was looking foreward to this game at Berkeley, and it showed Saturday night. Nate Longshore looked like a great prospect for the NFL for next year, showing the ability to step up in the pocket and deliver great touch on deep routes. RB Justin Forsett looked impressive also with 156 yds and a TD.
1. Hawaii. The much-hyped Colt "Whip It Out" Brennan threw for 416 yards and 6 TDs in the first half. Read it again. Sure this was all done against The Northern Colorado Stabbing Punters, but his 36-40 passing (3 of which were outright drops) and his control of the tempo of the game showed Brennan could be the number 1 QB prospect in this year's draft along with Brian Bromm.
Hawaii QB Colt Brennan
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Links:
New NCAA Football
curse: Cut by the Texans
Wear this shirt as a tribute to our nation's greatest treasure
Kobe buys $21k worth of Cris. Why? Oh, ok...
Posted byDa Great White Hype at 7:49 PM 0 comments
