Week Wrap Up With...

-Notre Dame will not continue their recent trend of Bowl Game losses this year

-Oregon, without Dennis Dixon, is not that good.

-Renaldo Balkman was high at Thanksgiving dinner... (0:17)

-And speaking of NY's finest, the team might not be that good this season. It seems they are having a lot of problems, as unlike Isiah's case, these problems got thrown out of court.

-Floyd Mayweather owns all seasons of "OZ" on DVD.

-You would still be crazy to take the Birds and the points.

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Now my Thanksgiving Wrap-Up

for those of you not related to da great white hype, you might be better off just not reading this.)

Ahh, Arizona. The home of DMX, Mike Tyson, and countless species of deadly snakes. It is also home to members of my paternal family, some of whom still deny not only my existence, but Fuzzy Byskitz's as well. As successful lawyers, corporate business men and women, and teachers.... its a wonder that they let Fuzzy and my COBRA-Elect insured-ass into the dining room at Thanksgiving at all.

And this is where Mike comes in.

I met Mike on Thanksgiving Day. He walked into the room, sporting his "World's Greatest Dad" t-shirt and with a gleam in his soulful eye, put down his Bud Light coddled by a coozi, and shook my hand. The father of my cousin Marc's wife, Mike taught me important life lessons like how to properly gut and prepare a havalina dinner (which includes letting the giant hog roast for 24hrs while drinking a beer, as well as how ti piss off a snow plow (drink a six pack and wave after he plowed snow back onto the driveway that you just shoveled).

Needless to say, Fuzzy offered to the Arizona-native to come to D.C. for an "East Coast Day" where he would provide the capital-district equivalent of havalina gutting, which of course is drinking a 40 of Night Train on a stoop off of Richmond Highway.

Fuzzy and I also left our own marks on Arizona.



While I was making it rain on Dove Creek Ranch Golf Course with Kev, da great white dad, and da great white uncle.... Fuzzy was enjoying time at his parent's home in Scottsdale with baby Emily, his 12 inch tv with satalite, and his privacy in his computer room bed room(which was twin shower rods and curtains strategically set up by Fuzzy's mom.



Then Kev, Fuzzy, David and I hit up downtown Phoenix for a Suns game.

Not only did me and the Byskitz find some very nice real estate by the Cheque Cashing and Liquor Store off of 71st ave, but we also had a great time at the game.

Before hand, we hit up Majerle's Sports Bar & Grill near the arena, which proclaimed itself to be voted the "11th best sports bar in America!!!"


The game itself was a scorefest. The Suns had 80 points at the end of the 1st half, and D.J. Strawberry and Alondo Tucker saw more minutes that game than they have all season in mop-up duty. More importantly, I learned that Cederic Ceballos has quit his rap career to become the M.C. at Suns games, announcing everything from the human hamster ball race at the end of the 1st, to the mascot dunk contest at the half.



While the Suns atmosphere is kinda cheezy (Planet Orange is the motto for the season, and as aforementioned, Cederic Ceballos is in charge of pumping up the crowd) there was a buzz during the whole game, as subway sandwiches were parachuted from the ceiling, cheerleaders danced at the entrances of the mezzanine, and the run-and shoot offense of Hawai'i Phoenix is really exciting to watch.

And once again, Fuzzy and I had a "would you kill?" exchange at a sporting event. While I asked him if he would shoot one of the 7 year old cheerleaders dancing at halftime without legal repercussion's to ensure a Redskins championship, he replied affirmatively. When I yelled out "Thats just wrong!," the older man in front of us must have been thinking I was commenting on the scantly-clad girls dancing at a young age as he yelled out "You're right, that's horrible!", not at the fact that my cousin would murder one of them for a Superbowl victory for the FedEx Field faithful.

Perhaps the best Fuzzy moment came at the closing of our West Coast Invasion, as he was comparing the famous people to come out of Plattsburgh (the birth town of my dad and uncle) to his hometown of Alexandria, Va. We found out that Plattsburgh produced only a low-level porn star and they proudly have America's first openly-gay mayor. Therefore, "no homo" will be replaced with "no Plattsburgh's mayor" for now on.