Da Great White Hype: 12/01/2006

Junkies 2007
Thursday, December 28

Welcome everybody to the 1st Annual Trey Junkin Awards! Each year, we present the Junky to people in the sports world deserving of said award.

Awards Delegated Before Tonight's Broadcast:

Biggest Fantasy Bust Junky: Larry Johnson

Best Reason We Hardly Pay Attention to the NBA Regular Season Junky: 2006-2007 Dallas Mavericks

And now for tonight's big winners...

Kinda Cute Bitch of the Year Junky:

Hope Solo

Best Tribute to A Murderer Junky:

Vince McMahon to Chris Benoit

Aww you almost forgot that he slaughtered his wife, suffocated his child, and hung himself.

Worst Marketing Promo Junky:

Hottest Lawsuit Winner Junky:

Former Fresno St. Women's B-Ball coach Stacy Johnson-Klein, who won $19 Mil in a gender discrimination suit. She is also hot.

Team of the Year Junky:
Caltech Beavers. On Jan 6, 2007 Caltech Men's Basketball won for the first time since Nov. 22, 2004 and ended a 59-game losing streak, rolling past Bard 81-52. The Beavers had been outscored by an average of 36 points in their first 10 games this season after taking a game to overtime in 2005-06.

And finally..... The Play of the Year Junky:

Dad and I were pissed that CBS didn't broadcast this in HD. I mean it's the freaking Big Game. Anyways, I wonder how many pokes that guy from Cal got the next day on Facebook after that ish.

Posted byDa Great White Hype at 12:09 AM 1 comments

google
Tuesday, December 19

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Posted byDa Great White Hype at 1:10 AM 0 comments

Posted byDa Great White Hype at 12:06 AM 0 comments

PAWG of the Week #4
Monday, December 18

Pawg (of course meaning Phat Assed White Girl) is a term we here at GWH hold dear to our hearts. Since we are not cool enough to bed girls of any color (and I include "slightly tan" in that also), we are forced to stick to a homogeneous crop.

Well, here she is, the aptly-named, Megan Fox (with some cool stats from last weekend in football)

Cleveland 8, Buffalo 0 was the NFL's first 8-0 game since 1929

Greg Camarillo, who caught the winning 64-yard touchdown pass for Miami in overtime, came into the game with 2 career yards receiving

David Garrard has 16 touchdown passes and two interceptions.

Justin Fargas' dad was Huggy Bear.

Posted byDa Great White Hype at 11:03 PM 0 comments

About Da Great White Hype

I like them black, white, Puerto Rican, or Haitian
Like Japanese, Chinese, or even Asian

-Chingy, "Balla Baby".

After that, whatever I write will look like genius. This follows the same postulate of spotting the hot girl in a bar. Take the girl you might think is hot out of said bar and place her in any other social situation, and aforementioned hotness may not hold water. A bar may be filled with ugly girls and the least ugly might appear to be hot. Danica Patrick may appear to be hot, but really she's surrounded by men, so she appears to be hot.

This blog follows the same principles. It may appear to be hysterical. At times, even poignant while possessing that je ne se quoi.

That is just because all other blogs in the same genre are terrible. Really, really terrible.

Fortunately for myself, I had the chance to be apart of the emergence of a great sports site, RoadToTheCup.com, ran by my friend Shogun and my cousin. Shogun continues the site, while I have branched off to ~~bigger and better~~ different things. My cousin decided to get married and have child after child after child. A big day in his life is making it past halftime of Monday Night Football.

Early Life

I was born near Pistol Wavin' New Haven. I grew up in a small yet dangerous buffer zone separating Philadelphia from northern Delaware, and also in SoCo (Somerset County, NJ... home of the pesticide-filled Raritan River and golf courses green as the eye can see). Like pilot Scott O'Grady, I spent way too much time in hostile territory as a New York sports fan in prime Filthadelphia country (with much less resources and training than O'Grady had).

While my friends were out drinking, scoring with girls, and getting A's, I was sitting at home applying Sabermetrics to MLB2k1 for Playstation. I knew I was meant for big things, as God was nice enough to make sure I was well-endowed. Thank you, God. But I also knew I had to do something with my life that had to do with sports. Besides swimming in my pool thinking about what homeless people are doing at the same time, sports was the only joy in my life.

Then I went to college.

I quickly became big man on campus. If you were hot, we probably hooked up at Diceys. Need a laugh? Instant message Mike. Need to snuggle? Climb in with Mike. I put the "tan man" in Manhattan College. I also wore a "hat" a lot, but "tan man" is cooler than "hat man" unless you're Tom Laundry. I literally hit my hotness peak right on time. But I knew that it would not last forever. I made sure I did well in school. I made sure I was always there for those in need of advice. I always washed the back of my calves and the crevice behind my knees. I have a feeling most people don't.

But college, like most things, didn't last forever. I waved goodbye to the girls of Riverdale, NY, and walked on, diploma in hand, to my next venture in life....

Sitting on my ass.

Seven months later, countless n00bz pnd3d on Madden '07, 35 sit ups done all summer and fall, and two attempts at a beard sent to dermal purgatory, I finally am on my way to ~~delaying entering the real world~~ graduate school. But at least this time I will be at a school that actually has a football team, and being outside of NYC, each classroom won't smell like a bottle of Curve was dumped into the carpet. Don't get me wrong, I love the city. There's nothing like a $7 dollar bud light to quench the thirst after the dry mouth effect of talking to some bitch who, for some reason, thinks you might care about how her Communications classes will prepare her for a job at Vogue next summer.

So I basically started this blog as a medium of expression of my thoughts on sports and life. I also like to write. Writing is fun. My house has 28 windows.

~Mike "Da Great White Hype" Kelley

Posted byDa Great White Hype at 10:02 PM 1 comments

The Best of Da Great White Hype

-The Hills of the Bronx. This was featured in SI.com's "Hot Clicks" as well as on the front page in November 2007. What's really good ladies??

-Where in the World is Stephon SanDiego? Marbury went missing from the Knicks earlier this season, and one gumshoe was enlisted to find him in the "Case of the Flown Floor General."

-Why Women Shouldn't Be Allowed To Work. Well, it should really be titled "Why Isiah Sucks and Other Thoughts..."

-I Got Left Home Alone. I'm 22 and still can't fend for myself. Thanks surburban, broken home upbringing.

-IM Convos From College. Another post I pray my parents never see.

-The 1st Ever Q&A wit Da Great White Hype.

Posted byDa Great White Hype at 8:19 PM 0 comments

Top 10 of 2007
Sunday, December 17

10. Rehab- Amy Winehouse. Pretty different from anything that came out in the mainstream this year and it looks like, unless she dies soon, she might be a star to come. But it looks like she will die soon.

9. I Get Money- 50 Cent. Not a huge fan of 50, but the LL hook and the hard beat makes for a gully hit. And he by far has had the best episode of Cribs.

8. Holy Diver- Killswitch Engage. Pretty hella dope cover of Dio's hit from the 80s, braaa.

7. My Love- Justin Timberlake.

6. It's Me Snitches- Swizz Beats f/ 'Lil Wayne, R. Kelly, Jadakiss. "After sex, I beat my chest like I'm King Konggg." Maybe the line of the year from the R.

5. The Heart Gently Weeps- Wu Tang Clan

4. It's Not Over- Chris Daughtry

3. Buy U A Drank- T-Pain f/ Yung Joc

2. The Way I Are- Timbaland f/ Keri Hilson. Here's an inverview with Hilson from KING magazine who def could get it bad from da great white hype.

1. (Tie) Umbrella- Rihanna f/ Jigga and Give it to Me - Timbaland f/ Nelly Furtado and Justin Timberlake. Rihanna got a fivehead but she could still get it, while Nelly Furtado makes selling-out look so sexy. By the way, check out our new sponsor, Yardbarker.com and their Ads that pepper the homepage of this site.