About Da Great White Hype
Monday, December 18
I like them black, white, Puerto Rican, or Haitian
Like Japanese, Chinese, or even Asian
-Chingy, "Balla Baby".
After that, whatever I write will look like genius. This follows the same postulate of spotting the hot girl in a bar. Take the girl you might think is hot out of said bar and place her in any other social situation, and aforementioned hotness may not hold water. A bar may be filled with ugly girls and the least ugly might appear to be hot. Danica Patrick may appear to be hot, but really she's surrounded by men, so she appears to be hot.
This blog follows the same principles. It may appear to be hysterical. At times, even poignant while possessing that je ne se quoi.
That is just because all other blogs in the same genre are terrible. Really, really terrible.
Fortunately for myself, I had the chance to be apart of the emergence of a great sports site, RoadToTheCup.com, ran by my friend Shogun and my cousin. Shogun continues the site, while I have branched off to bigger and better different things. My cousin decided to get married and have child after child after child. A big day in his life is making it past halftime of Monday Night Football.
Early Life
I was born near Pistol Wavin' New Haven. I grew up in a small yet dangerous buffer zone separating Philadelphia from northern Delaware, and also in SoCo (Somerset County, NJ... home of the pesticide-filled Raritan River and golf courses green as the eye can see). Like pilot Scott O'Grady, I spent way too much time in hostile territory as a New York sports fan in prime Filthadelphia country (with much less resources and training than O'Grady had).
While my friends were out drinking, scoring with girls, and getting A's, I was sitting at home applying Sabermetrics to MLB2k1 for Playstation. I knew I was meant for big things, as God was nice enough to make sure I was well-endowed. Thank you, God. But I also knew I had to do something with my life that had to do with sports. Besides swimming in my pool thinking about what homeless people are doing at the same time, sports was the only joy in my life.
Then I went to college.
I quickly became big man on campus. If you were hot, we probably hooked up at Diceys. Need a laugh? Instant message Mike. Need to snuggle? Climb in with Mike. I put the "tan man" in Manhattan College. I also wore a "hat" a lot, but "tan man" is cooler than "hat man" unless you're Tom Laundry. I literally hit my hotness peak right on time. But I knew that it would not last forever. I made sure I did well in school. I made sure I was always there for those in need of advice. I always washed the back of my calves and the crevice behind my knees. I have a feeling most people don't.
But college, like most things, didn't last forever. I waved goodbye to the girls of Riverdale, NY, and walked on, diploma in hand, to my next venture in life....
Sitting on my ass.
Seven months later, countless n00bz pnd3d on Madden '07, 35 sit ups done all summer and fall, and two attempts at a beard sent to dermal purgatory, I finally am on my way to delaying entering the real world graduate school. But at least this time I will be at a school that actually has a football team, and being outside of NYC, each classroom won't smell like a bottle of Curve was dumped into the carpet. Don't get me wrong, I love the city. There's nothing like a $7 dollar bud light to quench the thirst after the dry mouth effect of talking to some bitch who, for some reason, thinks you might care about how her Communications classes will prepare her for a job at Vogue next summer.
So I basically started this blog as a medium of expression of my thoughts on sports and life. I also like to write. Writing is fun. My house has 28 windows.
~Mike "Da Great White Hype" Kelley
Posted byDa Great White Hype at 10:02 PM
1 comments:
We hooked up at Fenwicks I think. Not Dicey's...best day of my life. Ladies, you won't be disappointed.